the A list

A Quick Reappearance

2010-08-09T23:18:00.000-06:00

As many, if not all, of you may know: Sister Ashley Lauren Call is busy serving an LDS mission. However, despite the long and demanding hours that she willingly spends serving the Lord, she still has time to be a beautiful poet. Therefore, I (her sister), felt the need and obligation to share with the blogging world her most recent work of word art.

"Come unto me," He said,
offering us more than we could hope for.
these mortal minds produce weak images: like
the momentary excitement of a taste bud,
or the transparent words of a cheap romance.
these mortal minds, little do they know they're lingering,
lingering on the vast idea that More exists.
and while many choose to ignore the curiosity of
their unfulfillment--
i choose to believe.

"Come unto me," He said,
"and be ye therefore Perfect."

"Un Piccolo Bambino, Un Piccolo Bambino"

2010-05-30T03:18:00.002-06:00

there are very few people

who can make you feel

as important as

joshie does.

this lil' guy,

along with his big brother,

are at the top of the

list of people i will miss most.

{heading to disneyland in the morning

with my sweet family;

happy summer!}

Miss Amy.

2010-05-30T03:08:00.000-06:00

if you met us today,
you would hardly believe that
we were practically strangers back in high school.

because now:
she is the friend that combs my hair at sleepovers,
reads me her journal entries,
shares all her double-stuffed oreos with me,
and lets me squeeze her hand during the cutest part of the movie.

true story: this is the only picture i have of just the two of us.

...

at least amy looks great.

Valium.

2010-05-26T16:25:00.000-06:00

And sometimes your heart looks so pretty,

I just want to live there.

photo

Valium lyrics by Lisa Mitchell

Words.

2010-05-24T20:01:00.000-06:00

She opened her mouth to speak.

There was a time, in the recent past, when words were powerful,
Polishing the very chambers of her broken heart,
Synching her secrets with his,
Silencing insecurities of all kinds.

Back then:
All she ever needed,
All she ever used,
Were her words.

She opened her mouth to speak.

And the very parting of her lips,
The very atmosphere touching her teeth,
Stole that memory.

As she realized that this time,

There were no words.

The Big Day.

2010-05-23T22:56:00.002-06:00

my very best friend is

no longer a single lady.

yesterday,

all of us-- best friends,

gathered & celebrated.

[with the weather barely permitting].

it was lovely.

Truth:

2010-05-23T22:08:00.001-06:00

it doesn't matter

who we aren't

when we know

who we are.

-ardeth g. kapp

photo

I never really got over her.

2010-05-14T18:18:00.001-06:00

i think you understand why.

Fancy Feet.

2010-05-14T17:54:00.001-06:00

These feet, they are fancy.
Dancing in dreams
And wishes for a future world
Unfathomable.
Unknown.

Freedom will come someday,
To rescue us from these fears.
If our knuckles can endure
This unrequited Grasping
For peace.

Your fears--strangers to my fears.
They remain, nonetheless.
But I will come, And
Maybe these, our fears, will distract each other,
Playing in the other room,
While we. Breathe.

Paris Je'taime.

2010-05-12T23:45:00.005-06:00

{french jazz,

overflowing treats,

presents, presents, presents,

an adorable bride-to-be,

and besssssst friends.}

christina's bridal shower:

Call me crazy,

2010-05-12T02:11:00.001-06:00

but i really believe
a beautiful bookshelf
can make anybody feel at
home.

[photos of my bookshelf in highland]

21.6

2010-05-11T01:09:00.002-06:00

twentyone:if only these were careers

1. poster-making.
2. writing in cursive.
3. alphabetizing books.
4. making homemade cards.
5. spending money.
6. reading blogs.
7. making collages.
8. thrift shopping.
9. reading books and magazines.
10. drawing hearts & flowers (about the only things i can draw).
11. making menus (not actually cooking meals).
12. lists.
13. journaling.
14. logic puzzles.
15. listening to music.
16. picking out outfits for people.
17. re-doing buttons.
18. annotating poetry.
19. planning small-scale showers/parties.
20. recycling and reusing household materials.
21. doodling.

--> turns out my creativity is a bit unprofitable.
[even if it did help my little brother get onto student council]

Bloggggggs.

2010-05-10T18:59:00.004-06:00

a benefit of my recent neglects to the blog world:

an overflow of new posts
{from all the more consistent bloggers.}

some of my favorite posts:

[from the sartorialist]

"Touch my face again
and I’ll forget where you end
and where I begin."

[from tylerknott]

[from lookbook]

[from sabino]

"do you ever feel like standing still?

standing so still that the dust would blow

from between your ribs and from under your eyes?

and your hopfulies would come back,

and your dreams could catch up,

but the weeks would still flit all the same?"

[from the secret life of b]

these wedding plans

[from famous]

[from audreyhepburncomplex]

studying stars

[from the wild and willy ways of a brunette bombshell]

[from inspireddays]

My Best Friend's Wedding.

2010-05-10T15:26:00.002-06:00

my beautiful, bestest friend, christina,

has less than two weeks left

until she is finally married to her almost-high school sweetheart.

aj & christina

nearly dated several times during our high school years,

but it wasn't until last fall

that they finally fell in love with each other.

{who wouldn't love a guy

who drives you three hours to a jack-in-the-box

and three hours home

when you're having a bad day?}

[i will be posting more pictures from their wedding day,

may 22.]

congratulations babes!

Me too.

2010-05-09T00:03:00.002-06:00

i was born with an enormous need for affection,

and a terrible need to give it.

--audrey

The Black Art.

2010-05-06T01:09:00.002-06:00

A woman who writes feels too much,
those trances and portents!
As if cycles and children and islands
weren't enough; as if mourners and gossips
and vegetables were never enough.
She thinks she can warn the stars.
A writer is essentially a spy.
Dear love, I am that girl.

--Anne Sexton

21.5

2010-05-05T11:44:00.001-06:00

summer has a way of taunting us.

perhaps that is part of its appeal in the first place.

you can never be sure that it is here to stay.

twentyone:for my six week summer.

1. Snow-cones.

2. Picnics.

3. 2 rolls of Diana film (+ getting them developed).

4. A trip to Disneyland (yes!)

5. Sleepovers on the trampoline.

6. An outdoor concert.

7. Night-games.

8. Swimmmmming.

9. A day at the beach.

10. A short must-read book list.

11. An all-nighter.

12. Monopoly.

13. Yard-sale. (More on this later.)

14. Bikes.

15. A Wedding. (More on this later.)

16. Sun-roofs.

17. Flowers.

18. Mexican Coke.

19. Crafts.

20. Loves.

21. And probably a lot of goodbyes.

[forty-two dayyyyyyssssssss.]

grow.

2010-05-04T22:35:00.000-06:00

life, as of late, has made me agree (desperately) with this:

we do not grow absolutely, chronologically.

we grow sometimes in one dimension,

and not in another; unevenly.

we grow partially. we are relative.

we are mature in one realm, childish in another.

the past, the present, and future mingle

and pull us backward, forward, or fix us in the present.

we are made up of layers, cells, constellations.

anais nin, found by this brilliant blogger.

ffffound.

2010-05-04T02:51:00.000-06:00

we are all lost.
life is simply a matter of becoming ffffound.

((SOLD.))

2010-04-29T20:02:00.001-06:00

Hiiiiii friends.
As you know, I'm just about to be a missionary. :)
This means: I'm desperately trying to sell my contract at my adorable Provo home.
It is a shared room, on the second floor of this cute house.
And it's huge!
It has its own bathroom, walk-in closet, tons of storage space, etc. etc. etc!

If you or anyone you know is looking for housing for the summer,
let them know about this place! We are more than willing to negotiate prices. :)

email me at ashleylaurencall@gmail.com for more info.

happy earth day.

2010-04-22T19:03:00.001-06:00

We are all made of air;

There's stars in my eyes

And there's sun in my hair--

And I'm runnin' away,

It makes me feel better.

(photo, lyrics)

21.4

2010-04-17T01:17:00.001-06:00

twentyone:i want to be...

1. strong and vulnerable.
2. learned and learning.
3. careful and careless.
4. confident and humble.
5. independent and committed.
6. organized and spontaneous.
7. productive and "happy in my pajamas all day"
8. curious and trusting.
9. intuitive and obedient.
10. calm and eager.
11. honest and kind.
12. opinionated and open-minded.
13. strict and flexible.
14. comfortable and challenged.
15. talking and listening.
16. selfless and self-nurturing.
17. satisfied and striving.
18. prepared and surprised.
19. composed and emotional.
20. conservative and liberal.
21. constant and changing

[if i have learned anything over the past several years,
i have learned the importance of finding balance in everything.]

photo via

Brand New Colony.

2010-04-10T13:31:00.001-06:00

Let's defy reality.

Forget the facts,

Embrace the adventure

and Pretend that this,

this we call Life,

is easy.

I'll cut my ties,

if you cut yours.

And We can live

Together.

Among the trees.

Let's ignore the burdens

that are Straining our shoulders.

Let's ignore all reason

And for a moment,

be perfectly Absorbed.

In each other.

"I want to take you far from the cynics in this town

And kiss you on the mouth.

We'll cut our bodies free from the tethers of this scene,

Start a brand new colony."

confession:

2010-04-09T00:57:00.000-06:00

(i know... two in a row?)

i'm addicted to soda.

sue me.

confession:

2010-04-07T19:55:00.000-06:00

sometimes-- i believe the Sun can determine the good fortunes of a day:

thank you, Sun,

for a 99% on my Humanities paper,

a great lunch with an old friend,

and the big smile on my face.

photo

san francisco in may?

2010-04-03T02:17:00.004-06:00

i think so.

photo via my friend rachelle's trip to san fran.

Arizona.

2010-03-31T23:54:00.002-06:00

a little present came in the mail today.

it brought tears, laughs.

surprises, hugs.

most importantly: delicious skor bar cake.

.......................

.............

come june 16,

i will head to the LDS MTC

where i will learn spanish & a few other things

so that i can share the gospel

with the people of

tucson, arizona.

p.s. only five minutes prior to the grand opening,

grandma facer said: "i bet she's going to tucson, arizona!"

hence, the sweet picture of her surprise and my delight. :)

This Just In.

2010-03-27T09:21:00.003-06:00

Making my busy weekend a little easier--

Angus & Julia Stone.

Adorable brother&sister duo.

With voices more beautiful than lullabies.

Just released their second full-length album: Down the Way.

ode to floral. (and some other pretty things.)

2010-03-26T16:22:00.005-06:00

photos found here and here

ugggghhhh!

2010-03-25T22:39:00.000-06:00

i try, most days, to save my complaints
for my sweet & patient mother.
who kind of agreed to be an eternal recipient of complaints,
when she agreed to be a mother.

but today, i want to scream
because i don't know how much more
money can be spent on these
when this is always the end result:

sincerely,
sick of the runs.

Amelie.

2010-03-23T23:29:00.000-06:00

I know I'm a little behind, but

I watched Amelie for the first time tonight.

And fell more in love than I ever have.

{With a movie, of course.}

If you have already seen it,

enjoy this beautiful reminiscent from the movie.

If you have not seen it yet,

allow this clip to

melt your heart,

like it did, mine.

"alls i know"

2010-03-22T22:29:00.000-06:00

is today, more than ever,

i'm wanting a permanent somewhere [anywhere]

to call my own.

photos via

21.3

2010-03-20T20:02:00.000-06:00

twentyone:in a perfect world...

1. soda would be incredibly nutritious.
2. every day would be friday.
3. true/false questions would not exist.
4. money really would grow on trees.
5. march would mean sunshine, instead of snowstorms.
6. the hair on my head would grow as fast as the hair on my legs.
7. jim & pam would really be married.
8. italian would be the lingua franca.
9. study abroad would be included in tuition.
10. you wouldn't need a membership to shop at costco.
11. life before 9:00 a.m. wouldn't exist.
12. teachers would make more money than celebrities.
13. every tub would be a jetted tub.
14. allergy medicine would actually work.
15. we could pick our talents.
16. romance would be as flawless as hollywood claims it is.
17. you could read and drive at the same time.
18. boy meets world would still be on nick@nite.
19. roller backpacks would be cool.
20. shoes could be cute AND comfortable.
21. every word would be as cute as when my 2 year old cousin josh says it.

happy weekend!

photo via

fanfarlo.

2010-03-13T02:58:00.001-07:00

fanfarlo was fanfabulous.

there is something undeniable about live music.

{not to mention, only the select few can pull off her adorable style.}

favorite tracks:
finish line.
if it is growing.
harold t. wilkins or how to wait for a very long time.
comets.

the rest is history.

2010-03-13T02:23:00.003-07:00

this was one of the first things ryan ever said to me:

"you read the rockstar diaries, don't you?"

...

the rest is history.

{pictures of our mock "hunt for the best burger"}

{sadly, smashburger is NOT it.}

p.s. he's single ladies!

i might not have made it through the week,

2010-03-13T01:49:00.003-07:00

had it not been for:

girl scout cookies.

french playlists.

non-stop giggles with this girl.

all-you-can eat hagermann's french toast.

and the best vintage suitcase find ever.

The Human Heart.

2010-03-11T01:46:00.001-07:00

“The human heart has hidden treasures, In secret kept, in silence sealed; The thoughts, the hopes, the dreams, the pleasures, Whose charms were broken if revealed.”

-Charlotte Bronte

photo via

confession:

2010-03-06T19:00:00.000-07:00

sometimes i talk to my bangs like they are a jr. high soccer team, and i am their coach.

like they are naughty children, and i, their impatient mother.

ex:

"c'mon guys! work together!"

"seriously? you're going to be difficult?"

Topography.

2010-03-02T23:30:00.003-07:00

After we flew across the country
we got in bed, laid our bodies
delicately together, like maps laid
face to face, East to West, my
San Francisco against your New York, your
Fire Island against my Sonoma, my
New Orleans deep in your Texas, your Idaho
bright on my Great Lakes, my Kansas
burning against your Kansas your Kansas
burning against my Kansas, your Eastern
Standard Time pressing into my
Pacific Time, my Mountain Time
beating against your Central Time, your
sun rising swiftly from the right my
sun rising swiftly from the left your
moon rising slowly from the left my
moon rising slowly from the right until
all four bodies of the sky
burn above us, sealing us together,
all our cities twin cities,
all our states united, one
nation, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.

-Sharon Olds

maybe,

2010-02-28T22:21:00.002-07:00

i procrastinated,
waited til the night before the due date,
and used an online rhyme dictionary ONCE.

nonetheless,
i'm still proud of how it turned out.

this, friends, is my first sonnet.
in honor of Mr. Petrarch himself,
and the loving nature of sonnets.

........................

The length of One hour penetrates in me,

And brings the shivers of a frozen land,

Our hour apart—nostalgia for your hand,

And longing for one moment more with thee.

Our separated hour, dividing sea.

Your sun, it rises as mine, it descends, and

These tides, they’re pushing further—grains of sand

We are, without a choice of where we’ll be.

So for this minute will I live among

Your mem’ry sweet; for me ‘tis better known:

The beat of your heart, than mine native tongue.

Asleep among the lively, dreams of thy own

Sweet tone, which mutes the song by Muses sung,

Is where I’ll stay—in thought of You alone.

........................

p.s. i know the meter's not great, don't judge too harshly :)

hey it's OK...

2010-02-27T18:08:00.001-07:00

...to wear the same jeans two days in a row.
...to use chapstick as palmade.
...to shop in the men's section.
...to eat left over dessert for breakfast.
...to put on your mascara while driving (maybe not safe. but it's still ok)
...to love rockstar diaries as much as the next girl.
...to put miley cyrus and bright eyes on the same playlist.
...to count the stairs at school as exercise.
...to have a mom for a best friend.

{inspired by glamour magazine.}

sometimes has become a home:

2010-02-24T21:43:00.001-07:00

{a cozy New England cottage, with tea and fuzzy socks, fireplaces.}

because sometimes i am ambitious. sometimes i am a dreamer. sometimes i am motivated.

and sometimes i am scared. sometimes i am lonely. sometimes i feel defeated.

but sometimes is safe.

sometimes never requires a decision,

sometimes never has a deadline,

sometimes allows for changed minds, over and over.

sometimes has become my home.

photo of course

confession:

2010-02-20T21:50:00.000-07:00

i am beginning to think i write most eloquently on blogger and in text messages...

the minute my hand touches a pen, i am stumped.

{not sure how i feel about this.}

the great salt lake.

2010-02-20T12:28:00.001-07:00

never had more deserved, or overdue, sister date.

{first visit to ikea}

{tomato basil pizza @ the pie}

{library ventures}

{downtown strolls w/ ms. diana & ms. holga}

21.2

2010-02-17T20:35:00.001-07:00

twentyone:places i'd rather be.

1. in chiang mai, thailand-- for obvious reasons.
2. sitting shot-gun on a road trip.
3. watching fireworks at disneyland.
4. eating caprese salad and real pizza in naples.
5. exploring castles in ireland.
6. snorkeling off poipu beach in kauai.
7. reading poetry and cuddling by a fire.
8. snow-shoeing in american fork canyon.
9. window shopping on chicago's magnificent mile .
10. sailing off the coast of st. thomas.
11. making wishes at the trevi fountain in rome.
12. taking holgas in new york city.
13. walking the oregon coast at cannon beach.
14. riding an elephant in india.
15. laying by a pool...anywhere.
16. with friends and family at a lake house.
17. watching figure skating at the olympics in vancouver, british columbia.
18. listening to live music in an outdoor venue.
19. spending endless hours in the british museum.
20. relaxing at a bistro in paris.
21. ...anywhere that requires a passport.

anyone want to join me?

photo via

Happy Valentine's Day!

2010-02-14T12:35:00.004-07:00

We may not be able to hold hands this weekend,

but according to this homemade postcard,

we are only "three inches apart."

hoping you have a happy valentine's day!

{sweetest homemade postcard from brad that arrived thursday}

Tonight.

2010-02-11T18:11:00.002-07:00

Tonight I'd be okay if you came over, and you only had five minutes to spare.
Tonight I'd be okay if we went to the library and studied for endless hours, only our feet interacting.
Tonight I'd be okay if you were really tired and wanted to sleep through the entire movie.
Tonight I'd be okay if you asked for a back rub without a promised one in return.
Tonight I'd be okay if we had to run all your errands and none of mine.
Tonight I'd be okay if you had to finish waiting on tables and I had to wait at the bar.
Tonight I'd be okay if I had to drive forty-five minutes just to curl up in your arms.

Just as long as it's tonight.

{photo via}

also, in the spirit of love, i must share
my most recent source of smiles,
tyler knott gregson's daily haiku.

my blood approves.

2010-02-10T13:03:00.005-07:00

if i could die
with one poem in my arms
it might be this one.
(as long as it was given to me
by the right man):

since feeling is first

who pays any attention

to the syntax of things

will never wholly kiss you;

wholly to be a fool

while Spring is in the world

my blood approves,

and kisses are a better fate

than wisdom

lady i swear by all flowers. Don't cry

--the best gesture of my brain is less than

your eyelids' flutter which says

we are for each other; then

laugh, leaning back in my arms

for life's not a paragraph

And death i think is no parenthesis

--e.e. cummings

{because,}
who doesn't agree that feeling is always first?
who wouldn't want a man that says: "lady i swear by all flowers, don't cry"?
who wouldn't want to believe (sometimes) that kisses are a better fate than wisdom?
who wouldn't want to be told that their eyelids' flutter says "we are for each other"?

(behold an infant blog of my dear, sweet, eloquent sister.)

Superbowl Sunday.

2010-02-09T15:26:00.000-07:00

thank goodness for grandmas
who say stuff like this
during the superbowl:

"was that a re-run?"
"was that for your team?"
"the poor guy underneath!"
{her & i have a lot in common.}

but this--
was the highlight of my superbowl sunday:

{such a romantic i am}

dreams.

2010-02-06T10:06:00.008-07:00

sometimes {all the time} i {day} dream.

.......................................

i dream of books that line my shelves {pretty} dog-eared {perused} devoured books.

i dream of saturday mornings at the farmer's market for cucumbers, basil, mostly daisies.

i dream of strolls along a neighborhood shore for my sunday afternoon walk.

i dream of being familiar with a big, daunting city.

i dream of independence and the challenge of beautiful unknowns.

i dream of composing words to tell a story, to invoke emotion, to make a difference.

i dream of knowledge so complete that i understand the world.

i dream of faraway friends who gather for fondue night. book clubs. scrabble.

i dream of sending {wrinkled} & {memory infused} postcards from around the world.

i dream of being {somebody's} someone.

photo via

my day:

2010-02-05T23:32:00.003-07:00

most days i do not think about my wedding.
it seems a distant dream,
within a life that doesn't yet belong to me.
there are so many mysteries
associated with that day.
mysteries that aren't solvable yet.

most days i am satisfied with these mysteries,
i will unfold and understand them as they come.

but today,
after buying a bridesmaid's dress for my best friend's wedding,
and after looking at this blog,
i imagined a wedding that could one day be mine.
someday, my day could look like this:

{photos via}

a friend.

2010-02-04T21:29:00.003-07:00

tonight, i am reminded of a most reassuring line from one of my very favorite books:

never forget that once upon a time, in an unguarded moment, you recognized yourself as a friend.

{belated new year's resolution: be more gentle to me.

i have the potential to be my own best friend

...you do too!}

{photo via}

if you can forgive me...

2010-02-03T22:06:00.005-07:00

for waiting so long to write this post,
then i will share with you
something beautiful i read in response
to the current tragedies found in Haiti:

In the aftermath of disaster, we are reminded that life can be unimaginably cruel. That pain and loss [are] so often meted out without justice or mercy. That 'time and chance' happen to us all. But it is also in these moments, when we are brought face to face with our own fragility, that we rediscover our common humanity. We look into the eyes of another and see ourselves. And so the United States of America will lead the world in this humanitarian endeavor. That has been our history, and that is how we will answer the challenge before us.

-President Obama, Newsweek

sometimes we close our eyes,

to protect our hearts from feeling the sorrow that these pictures invoke.

but sometimes, all we need to do is open our eyes,

to understand that

we, too, can help.

text "haiti" to 90999 to donate even a mere $10 that could change someone's life.

photo via

21.1

2010-01-31T11:44:00.001-07:00

in honor of twentyone,
and my obsessions with lists--

twentyone:songs that never get old.

1. Fast Car: Tracy Chapman
2. Jesus, etc.: Wilco
3. The Only Living Boy in New York: Simon & Garfunkel
4. The Execution of All Things: Rilo Kiley
5. Samson: Regina Spektor
6. Gimme Sympathy (Acoustic): Metric
7. It's Okay: Land of Talk
8. Heartbeats: Jose Gonzalez
9. Foreground: Grizzly Bear
10. Transatlanticism: Death Cab for Cutie
11. Maybe Not: Cat Power
12. All My Friends: Broken Social Scene
13. No One's Gonna Love You: Band of Horses
14. Re: Stacks: Bon Iver
15. See You Soon (Acoustic): Coldplay
16. Strange and Beautiful: Aqualung
17. Here Comes the Sun: George Harrison
18. There's a Reason: A.A. Bondy
19. Maps: Yeah Yeah Yeah's
20. For the Widows in Paradise, for the Fatherless in Ypsilanti: Sufjan Stevens
21. Mary: Noah and the Whale

stay tuned for more lists of twentyone.

{photo via}

I'm Yours.

2010-01-29T15:43:00.003-07:00

this, friends, is the cutest thing you'll ever see.

The Weight of My Heart.

2010-01-29T10:43:00.005-07:00

He.
Has a rule against matinees.
A mustache.
And green tights from Halloween.

I.
Have a messy car.
A wild imagination.
And never-ending To Do Lists.

We.
Have oceans between us.
Email novellas.
And just enough plans to make it bearable.

Your proximity
will alter entirely
the weight of my heart.

-Tyler Knott Gregson

There's a Reason.

2010-01-29T10:13:00.000-07:00

On Wednesday night I enjoyed the delicious sound of A.A. Bondy's sweet songs.

He exceeded all expectations, and gave us a show worth remembering.

His live performance put his album recordings to shame.

Needless to say, I loved every minute of it.

A.A. Bondy's Best Songs (in my opinion):

Lover's Waltz

Black Rain, Black Rain

There's a Reason

World Without End

The Mercy Wheel

American Hearts

Rapture (Sweet Rapture)

Mightiest of Guns

"may tomorrow the land be anew
may every bird sing unto you
and that's the reason"

Secrets.

2010-01-27T14:45:00.001-07:00

(Idea by Mandy,
Secrets by Me.)

I avoid talking on the phone at most costs.
Sometimes I still dream about trying out for American Idol.
I sleep with my feet sticking out of my covers.
I find comfort and a bit of freshman nostalgia when I enter a Maverik Country Store.
I cruise control home from work everyday.
I don't understand Twitter.
Audiobooks are my best friends.
Snow sports are my enemies.
I would choose to do a push-up over a sit-up any day.
I often formulate my thoughts into prose.
I haven't instant-messaged this much since the 8th grade.
I'm anxious to see the world,
and jealous of those who have already seen it.
I am most proud of my handwriting.
I always have an expectation for life,
reality continues to surprise me.
I am mentally and emotionally stronger today than I have ever been.

{photo via}

confession:

2010-01-24T20:15:00.002-07:00

i think my handwriting looks prettier when i write in italian.

i write words like:

formaggio
assomigliare
attraversiamo
bellissimo

{but, maybe, that's because italian words are prettier.}

reason #902374539284920 to move there.

All Inclusively.

2010-01-23T22:43:00.002-07:00

Tonight, I was rudely reminded that not everybody is trustworthy. That no matter how much friendship you offer to the world, sometimes all the world can offer back is heart ache and insecurity. Tonight, I felt scared, like I sometimes have before, that humanity is harsh and critical. And people will never cease to be judgmental. Tonight, I worried. I worried that the progress I have made over the past two years means nothing. And that for the rest of my life I will feel defined by what is on my outside.

But thankfully,

{Due to the immense progress that I have made.}

I was quickly reminded that I am loved. That I have a family, who cannot get enough of my jokes and my loud singing. That I have true friends, who notice my good qualities before anything else. That I have a best friend, who makes everything feel alright even when he's halfway across the world.

...........

There will be people. Many people. Who will be harsh. Who will be cruel.
But there will be those, who will see you inside & out.
And they will love you. All inclusively.

thailand.

2010-01-20T21:27:00.003-07:00

has never been a dream destination of mine.

until now.

{photos from brad}

birthday diaries (part three)

2010-01-20T00:27:00.006-07:00

today

i am

twentyone.

twentyten.

today

i am

sure

myself.

today

i am

loved

and

i know

it.

today

i am

ready

for

tomorrow.

p.s. i know it's technically jan. 20 now.

but jan. 19, 2010 made a lovely birthday!

will share more soon!

oh my word!

2010-01-18T23:49:00.001-07:00

this is so cute, i can barely stand it!

birthday diaries (part two)

2010-01-18T20:20:00.008-07:00

these two have been my best friends
for who remembers how long.

although we are all so busy,
we continue to squeeze each other in,
between everything else.

i can count on them to:
remember birthdays,
bring back hilarious memories,
and love me. no matter what.

thanks for the lovely birthday dinner,
and for everything!

birthday diaries (part one)

2010-01-17T21:44:00.008-07:00

january is an exciting month for my little family!

two birthdays:

me & my papa daddy!

today we celebrated:

with granny & gramps,

aunts & uncles,

&& cousins!

happy birthday dad!

i love you!

SweetDreams.

2010-01-14T08:00:00.003-07:00

Ingredients:

Chamomile.

Hibiscus.

Peppermint Leaves.

Rose Blossoms.

Spearmint Leaves.

Spice.

Orange Blossoms.

Yields:

Sweet Dreams.

Happiness.

(true story & ingredients of my bedtime herbal tea last night)

{photo}

twentyone.

2010-01-13T23:16:00.004-07:00

you already know,

i am super keen on lists.

next tuesday

is my birthday.

the big 21.

most years:

i have already pictured,

written,

hinted,

reminded,

hand-picked

what i want for my birthday.

this year:

i want hugs. tight, fingers and hands, holding me. reminding me i am loved.

i want handwritten cards from my baby brothers who are not babies anymore.

i want a whole day without homework, work, or reminders of responsibility.

i want to be warm all day. seat heaters, wool socks, whatever it takes.

i want to read a book that i get to choose.

i want to feel beautiful and confident.

wish me luck.

(photo)

darling.

2010-01-13T15:21:00.002-07:00

sometimes i fear i take lyrics too seriously.
personalizing lines,
that were not intended for me.
written by people,
who do not know i exist.

but sometimes,
it is simply a lyric
that can change a bad day into a great one,
and can calm
my troubled heart.

today, this is my lyric of choice:

"darling do not fear what you don't really know,

'cause it won't last"

(rest of the lyrics here)

p.s. friends: thank you so much for your support

on my last post! brad is safe in thailand,

and i AM okay. :)

(photo)

The Airport.

2010-01-07T21:54:00.000-07:00

The lady in the parking lot,
suitcases in her hand,
silver hoop in her nose,
asks me if I'm okay.

I lie. Out of habit.
No, is what I should tell her.
No, tears do not mean okay.
Fifteen seconds ago I held love
in my hands.
And now. Now.
My hands are cold.
Naked.
Lonely.
And my heart beats to its own rhythm,
instead of
your's.

"Yes. I am okay."

goodbye.

2010-01-03T17:03:00.004-07:00

this week,
i am faced with a goodbye.
a goodbye so tough,

that i might have to forget those seven, familiar letters

and replace them with something easier,

like see you soon,
or ciao!

the new year.

2010-01-03T16:39:00.002-07:00

with the blink of my eye,
winter break has reached its end.
and 2009 has disappeared.

2010 stares me straight in the face,
daunting and unfamiliar.
daring me to make goals,
challenging me.

i am looking forward to:
continuing my english studies,
making new friends,
keeping in touch with the old ones,
turning 21,
gaining a couple inches of hair,
and more, and more, and more.

new starts are so inviting.

good luck with your own new year's goals!

{photo via}

blogger neglected.

2009-12-29T21:54:00.003-07:00

which is a claim i make,

a little too often.

{but i'll tell you this:

i'm making a small resolution

to be a more dedicated blogger.}

...

anyways,

my christmas was lovely

hoping your's was

also.

{my christmas eve feast @ grandma's}

Meet Lexi.

2009-12-19T08:51:00.005-07:00

She is one of my best friends,

from high school,

& yesterday she tied the knot.

She is the sweetest person I know,

Beautiful-- inside and out.

I could not be more excited for her.

Congratulations Lex!

{{isn't her veil amazing?}}

{photos by darla roze photography.}

2009-12-19T08:39:00.004-07:00

according to Wallace Stevens,
there are Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Blackbird.

I like them all,
but I guess these are my favorites:

I
Among twenty snowy mountains,
The only moving thing
Was the eye of the blackbird.

II
I was of three minds,
Like a tree
In which there are three blackbirds.

...

IV
A man and a woman
Are one.
A man and a woman and a blackbird
Are one.

...

VIII
I know noble accents
And lucid, inescapable rhythms;
But I know, too,
That the blackbird is involved
In what I know.

IX
When the blackbird flew out of sight,
It marked the edge
Of one of many circles.

{poem by Wallace Stevens; photo via}

and the good news is...

2009-12-16T15:20:00.002-07:00

finals are over.

now i am looking forward to:

sleep

homemade food

christmas morning

leisure reading

sledding

using my ms. diana
new year's kisses
time for yoga

what about you?

{photo via}

in honor of:

2009-12-15T10:19:00.006-07:00

my sweet, adorable grandparents.

ellis heber & eva jean are celebrating their 55th wedding anniversary today.

their marriage is such a beautiful example to me.

i hope to be holding hands, eating leftovers, and playing card games

with the one i love, someday.

congratulations! i love you!

needing some of this.

2009-12-14T22:06:00.003-07:00

...

hope you are surviving finals week!

{photo via}

cheers!

2009-12-11T14:47:00.003-07:00

cheers! to the end of another semester: finally!

cheers! to the holidays: peppermint ice cream and fireplaces!

cheers! to breakfast parties: with co-workers and friends!

cheers! to g-chatting: with my one and only love!

cheers! to beautiful words: that make the world feel a little more durable!

cheers! to beautiful friends: who can appreciate words, like me!

cheers! to blogging: i may be the only one reading it, but i always feel better when i write!

happy weekend!

{photo via}

sNOw.

2009-12-09T22:03:00.009-07:00

although it hurts my nose and ears,

crawls into my mittens,

constantly jeopardizes my safety,

increases my already ridiculous commute to work,

decreases any desire i have to go to school,

and jacks up my gas bill,

. . .

sometimes.

it is.

beautiful.

{pictures of brad's home/street in sugar house}

there and back.

2009-12-08T16:51:00.007-07:00

Sunday.
Four friends.
{Two couples}.
Zions National Park.
Freeze outs.
Cheese and crackers.
Sufjan Stevens/Bright Eyes/Azure Ray Christmas.
Crystal ice fields.
Angel's Landing.
{Chains to save our lives}.
Oscar's Cafe.
Snuggling in the back seat.

All the while,
there was snow
back home
on my front porch.

also,

2009-12-04T11:48:00.002-07:00

(i wrote this during thanksgiving, sorry i didn't post more about the holiday).

sometimes, there is this tangible feeling of family.

they have always been my mom, my dad, my brothers, my sister.

but there are days, and moments,

when i can feel the blood that connects us.

feel the genes that relate us.

the distance between us does not matter,

we come together:

forgetting the diversity in our lives,

forgetting that we all attend different schools,

and forgetting that the faces we see daily are not each others'.

and for the hour, or even, the minute, that we are together

that red stuff that flows within our veins reunites us.

and we are one.

hope you all had a great thanksgiving!

(photo of family and i in maui 2008)

(sometimes i hate coming up with titles)

2009-12-04T11:39:00.003-07:00

i have been a little disoriented this week.

there are so many reasons why,

and not enough solutions.

but, it is december.

it is christmas time.

and we have only one week left of school.

so there are reasons,

many reasons,

to be happy.

(even without solutions.)

2009-11-24T13:58:00.002-07:00

today. there is so much.

being the first day of thanksgiving break,

all i want to do is consume:

food, rest, love.

and yet, there is a nagging something

in the back of my mind,

reminding me of the two papers that are due next monday.

and the many many hours of reading i need to complete.

but, i think today i will bid farewell to responsibility.

bid farewell to deadlines, calendars, alarms.

but only today.

{photo via sabino}

twilight tonight.

2009-11-20T13:11:00.004-07:00

you may have heard...

about this little fantasy world

by the name of forks, washington.

(quick disclaimer: i am not twilight's biggest fan)

but, being on the beach where they filmed

twilight was, i'll admit, quite enchanting.

after looking back at these pictures

i am a little more excited

for tonight's new moon.

{i know you have tickets too, so enjoy!}

treasures

2009-11-19T10:00:00.001-07:00

there's a magic,

which i can't quite describe,

in buying something secondhand.

books have become my favorite

treasures

to find among thrift store shelves.

{imagine that.}

they are cheap,

unique,

and often have beautiful

{or hilarious}

inscriptions on the front cover.

these four are some of my favorite

secondhand finds:

Little Women by Louisa May Alcott

(missy and i plan to read this out loud over christmas break)

The American Transcendentalists

(i'm a little obsessed with american romanticism)

The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne

(it's been years since i've read it, but i've been aiming to do it again sometime soon)

Sonnets from the Portugese by Elizabeth Barrett Browning

(lovely sonnets all about love)

. . .

what's your favorite secondhand treasure?

maybe...

2009-11-18T21:44:00.007-07:00

this is why i like him so much.

before we started dating,

he wrote me this haiku

(in a hand written & mailed letter).

Adorable girl

With blonde hair and red lipstick

I confess my love

enough said.

{pic of brad & i in the canyon this fall}

Once

2009-11-13T16:24:00.004-07:00

in a while.
You find a kindred spirit.
A bosom friend,
All of the above.

Mandy is one of mine.
This poem,
is only one of the reasons
why.

sunday secret.

2009-11-08T15:55:00.008-07:00

i will share with you a secret.
{maybe, for you, it is not a secret at all}
but this week i have fallen in love,
with a photo-sharing blog
by the name of sabino.

this guy's collection is pure brilliance.

p.s. i'm anxiously waiting for my friend, steph,

to email me pictures from friday's regina spektor concert.

both the concert and regina

were stunning.

when these pictures arrive, you can be assured

that i will share.

photo via

sunshine.

2009-11-04T13:32:00.005-07:00

is filling my windows.
it is the beginning of november.

and i am happy.

photo via

and.

2009-11-03T13:57:00.002-07:00

i've recently realized how dependent
and obsessed
i am with the word

and

no word compares.
no word substitutes.

it is both essential,
and beautiful.

i have chucked the elementary school rule of not starting sentences with and...

and life has been better since.

sweet november?

2009-11-02T23:49:00.004-07:00

dear sleep,

i am afraid that this love affair is a bit too detrimental to my life success.

i am angry at you for making november 2nd such a discouraging day.

and i'm a little worried that you are becoming a bit of an escape from my life responsibilities.

i have been there, and done that, with you.

but for now, please return to your role as a mere necessity--for energy and rejuvenation.

sincerely,

so drowsy

photo via

sweet november.

2009-11-02T00:37:00.004-07:00

while impatiently waiting for byu's website

to cooperate,

i've decided to spread some of my november cheer

on this blog.

today was beautiful.

i journaled, excessively.

i caught up with a dear friend.

i listened to this man speak beautiful words.

and, i embraced the fresh start of a new month.

what a beautiful, and cozy, time of year.

have a happy and sweet november!

photo via

i don't like this cold much.,

2009-10-28T18:12:00.004-06:00

but, at least it's giving me an excuse

to stay inside and roast pumpkin seeds,

with him.

this place...

2009-10-28T17:02:00.004-06:00

let me tell you about powell's.

located in downtown portland,

full of books,

full of magic.

4 stories:

shelves,

after shelves.

of books, old&new.

paradise.

somehow,

i escaped with only having spent $8 dollars.

{on a vintage copy of Sonnets from the Portugese

& a Reading is Sexy pin}

--don't ask me how,

my only explanation.

i am poor.

{i found the last picture via lomography}

this, my friends, is long overdue.

2009-10-27T14:24:00.004-06:00

sometimes i wait for things to be

perfect

before i am willing to praise them.

that might explain why it has taken me

two months

to take these pictures and share them with you.

but, i have decided to forget perfection,

and be proud of progress.

this... is my room,

my sweet & humble abode

where i think & compose thoughts,

where i slave over homework,

and where i have made some fond memories with friends.

welcome!

{stay tuned for pictures of Missy & my upcoming project on the wall behind our beds :)}

guilty.

2009-10-26T12:33:00.001-06:00

i slept in this morning.

& kept sleeping,

&& never went to school.

but my clock says 12:34...

so i'm making a wish...

for motivation,

and teachers that will cut me some slack!

hoping your monday,

was better than

mine!

{photo via lomography}

round two.

2009-10-22T23:43:00.001-06:00

this is not the first time i have wanted to write two posts within the same half hour.

but this is the first time i am actually doing it.

there is something incredibly therapeutic about blogging.

i am comforted by even the slightest idea

that someone

somewhere

will hear my thoughts

and, maybe, even agree,

or possibly like them.

tonight, there are so many thoughts.

so i must list,

because, frankly, my brain functions in lists.

1. portland was incredible. blew away my expectations.

2. i love love love the "where the wild things are" soundtrack from karen o

{don't ask me how i felt about the movie, because i'm just not sure}

3. i got a new coat, it's dijon mustard. mmmm!

4. i'm going on about 48 hours of crankiness.

{the worst kinda crankiness that feels beyond my control.}

5. i've developed a slight hate for text messaging this week.

6. but tomorrow is friday, and brad & i are going to thriller!

enjoy the weekend!

dear blogger.

2009-10-22T23:21:00.002-06:00

no, i have not forgotten you.

yes, i am still alive.

there is so much to say right now,

that words are practically

spilling out of my (fingers)

and my mind will not allow me

to compose these thoughts

quick

enough.

so...

i've heard a picture is worth 1,000 words.

let's put that to the test.

here is my portland trip in... 5,000 words:

facebook.

2009-10-07T14:32:00.000-06:00

for quite some time i have been

meaning to write a post

embracing the advantages

blogger has over

facebook.

but george clooney did me a favor

and described it better than i ever could have.

"I would rather have a rectal examination

on live TV by a fellow with cold hands

than have a Facebook page."

...

well said.

{granted, i still have a facebook page.}

today.

2009-10-07T01:06:00.001-06:00

i remember.

why.

one should.

never.

enroll in.

17 credits.

with a part time job.

and occasional babysitting hours.

{so tired.}